We were at Taco Bell in Maysville, Kentucky almost 22 years ago, with an EPT in hand. We bought it at Target in the same shopping center and it never even occurred to us to wait until we got home to take it.
I wasn’t late, but for a few days my jeans had been uncomfortable to wear and the thought of eating was less than pleasant. That’s how I felt when I was first pregnant with Anna, so I was absolutely certain we were going to be seeing a little + sign on that stick.
It’s not that we wanted to be pregnant. We were both in college, trying to figure out what we wanted to be when we grew up. I was 19, he was 18, we were planning our wedding, and I already had a 2 year old.
The thought of being pregnant was stressful and scary and just… not in the plan. But there I was, in the Taco Bell bathroom peeing on a stick.
We waited the promised 3 minutes and checked the results… Negative. No baby on the way.
He hugged me while I cried.
The moment I saw the negative result, I realized how much I had already fallen in love with the thought of this new baby. It didn’t matter that not being pregnant was the best possible thing that could have happened at that time… I was heartbroken.
But the physical symptoms didn’t ease up, so I went to the doctor a few weeks later. To no one’s surprise, I got a positive result that time. I was too early for the first test to detect… because I felt her presence from the day she came into being.
In 10 days, she’s due to bring her own little one into the world. I have so many feelings about this, but no words yet.
I hope he changes your world in the same wonderful ways you changed mine, my Moonbeam.
(dinner topic is “what did you learn from your mom that you want to teach your own kids”)
Faitha: I want 3 kids so I can say “there is no I in team but there are 3 U’s in Shut the Fuck Up”
Anna: I want to adopt, so I can be one of the few really good parents in the foster care system.
Faitha: you should adopt 3, so you can use that line.
Sierra: you can’t really adopt foster children and the tell them there are 3 U’s in Shut The Fuck Up…
Faitha: I won a bunch of free stuff at the singing competition. I almost won the skate deck, but this boy beat me!
Me: did you roundhouse kick him in the head?
Sierra: WHAT IS THE POINT IN YOU KNOWING KARATE THEN?
I laughed way more than was proper.
Faitha: *licks Applesauce’s face*
Me: uh. Why are you licking the dog?
Faitha: she licks us…
Me: But you don’t have fleas.
Faitha *slowly leans down, licks the dog’s face again while watching my face for reaction*
… I got nothin.
Me: What does it mean that I have 18 pairs of fishnet stockings and not 1 single pair of pantyhose?
Faitha: It means you’re CLASSY!
Family: …*laughs loud enough to startle the dog*…
Me: GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Me: time to get up! We have to be on top of the hill in an hour.
Faitha: I’m trying to but I need motivated
Me: What will motivate you?
Faitha: I don’t know.
Me: Hot breakfast?
Me: Driving to the top of the hill in the van? (She got her permit Thursday)
Me: Cute guy in a kilt?
Mark: baby, is there anything I can do to help?
Me: not really. If there is a cure for stupidity, I’m certain you don’t have it.
Mark: *stunned silence*
I’m brilliant even when I’m upset.
Voicemail from my mother “I know you aren’t speaking to me, but Uncle Junior just died.”
Me calling Uncle Phil: “Is there anything I can do? Do you need anything? Can I help?”
Uncle Phil: “How did you already know? He’s still laying here in the floor.”
Sierra: “I wonder why Christmas Trees are colored green? … Oh … wait… it’s because they’re TREES! AWESOME. I know how trees work!”
…. AP Physics student… doesn’t know why trees are green without having to think about it deeply…
Text message just received from Sierra: I really need to get better at talking under my breath. I made a girl feel bad because I corrected her work and she said “you know what I meant” and I mumbled “you’re still wrong” but everybody heard me and now everyone is looking at me like I’m a bitch.