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Expecting

Posted by idawrites on April 19, 2017 in Sierra |

We were at Taco Bell in Maysville, Kentucky almost 22 years ago, with an EPT in hand. We bought it at Target in the same shopping center and it never even occurred to us to wait until we got home to take it.

I wasn’t late, but for a few days my jeans had been uncomfortable to wear and the thought of eating was less than pleasant. That’s how I felt when I was first pregnant with Anna, so I was absolutely certain we were going to be seeing a little + sign on that stick.

It’s not that we wanted to be pregnant. We were both in college, trying to figure out what we wanted to be when we grew up. I was 19, he was 18, we were planning our wedding, and I already had a 2 year old.

The thought of being pregnant was stressful and scary and just… not in the plan. But there I was, in the Taco Bell bathroom peeing on a stick.

We waited the promised 3 minutes and checked the results… Negative. No baby on the way.

He hugged me while I cried.

The moment I saw the negative result, I realized how much I had already fallen in love with the thought of this new baby. It didn’t matter that not being pregnant was the best possible thing that could have happened at that time… I was heartbroken.

But the physical symptoms didn’t ease up, so I went to the doctor a few weeks later. To no one’s surprise, I got a positive result that time. I was too early for the first test to detect… because I felt her presence from the day she came into being.

In 10 days, she’s due to bring her own little one into the world. I have so many feelings about this, but no words yet.

I hope he changes your world in the same wonderful ways you changed mine, my Moonbeam.

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