This weekend was a difficult one for me. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the emotional relationship I have with money. I am relieved to have enough money saved that I can replace the tires on my car without worry. If the electric bill is more than expected, there is no financial crisis for us. If we forget to lay out something for dinner and we just decide to jump in the car and go to a restaurant, there is no big dilemma.
However, there really is. Or, there will be. Maybe.
Starting our own business was a great idea! We had enough money in the bank to cover 3 full months worth of expenses while Mark concentrated on contracting work, as well as looking for a “regular job” so that he kept all of his options open. Mark has already completed one contract and we’ve invoiced them. He started another contract today, for a considerably larger amount. Why am I worried? Am I completely crazy?
Once again… Maybe.
The invoices have been sent out for the completed contract, but nothing has been paid. In 3 days, we will be at the “Net 30 Days” for the 1st invoice and I am nervous that it won’t be paid on time, or at all if the company decides to be difficult. Ok, so even if that invoice doesn’t get paid… Mark is still working on the 2nd contract! No problem! Except… that contract is “Net 45 Days” … so, no paid invoice for 2 months. Ut oh… now we may have a problem. No money from our consulting company for 2 more months is a definite possibility.
Jumping in the car for that “no problems” dinner is suddenly seeming like the beginning of a possible problem. Mark doesn’t seem worried. I have complete faith in him to provide for our family. I also have a job, but it barely covers the house payment and half of the utilities. So, if nothing else, I know we won’t be homeless or starve. I am just SO emotionally attached to that number in the ING account. It causes me great amounts of distress to see that number going down.
Granted, we planned for this. It’s been budgeted. We’ve looked at everything from every possible angle. We’ve discussed it. We both agreed to this course of action. So, why can’t I get my head wrapped around the depletion of our savings to bring our dreams to fruition? Whew… I hope I work through it soon.