Since starting middle school 2 1/2 years ago, Sierra has had a friend whose mother just refuses to be responsible for. It never fails that if there is an event at school (or THIRTY MILES FROM SCHOOL) that this child is participating in, I will get the following phone call:
“Mommy, can we give Nikia a ride to (home from) the performance? (dance, pta meeting, etc) Her mom can’t come get her (after dark, in the pouring fucking rain).” In the beginning, I felt bad that Nikia wouldn’t get to participate in these things if I said no, so I became the cab for someone else’s kid.
But you know… it’s been 2 1/2 damned years. Not once has an adult in this child’s house shown up for a performance she’s in, or provided transportation for something that they signed the permission slip saying she could attend.
This weekend was Sierra’s birthday party, so color me shocked when (an hour before the party) I got the question.. “Mommy, can you go pick up Nikia? She wants to come to the party.” ……. uh, no. We’ve got 20 guests arriving in an hour, I’m not playing taxi tonight.
“Well, she’s going to walk and she wants to know if I can walk half way and meet her?” … uh, no. We’ve got 20 guests arriving in an hour to see YOU and you’re not going to be walking down the road in the dark when they do. And if she comes, I’m NOT taking her home!”
Amazingly enough, someone managed to find it in their heart to drop the child on my doorstep during the party. Of course, she ended up inviting herself to the sleepover afterward, because she couldn’t get a ride home. Raise your hand if you’re surprised! Yeah, me neither.
Finally, yesterday about 3:30 in the afternoon, my husband had to take the girl home because it was raining and still nobody at her house would come and pick her up.
How do people do this? How the hell do they just dump their kids off for everyone else to be responsible for? How do they promise that the kid can participate in things at school and then let them down EVERY FUCKING TIME? How do they break their kids’ hearts at every turn? And, even more importantly, how do they teach their kids that it’s acceptable to beg, whine, needle, cajole, and negotiate to get other people to pick up their sorry ass slack?
Some people need to wake the hell up, get off the sofa, and be parents to the people they brought into this world. And some of us (or me) need to stop enabling those other people to dump their kids off for us to care for.