Getting Started Getting It All

Posted by idawrites on May 19, 2010 in Decisions, Getting It All, Transitions |

I’ve heard a lot of people over the years talking about Having It All.  You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones who sound like the guy on the middle of the night infomercial selling The Chopper…


What. Ever.

I think Having It All is a myth. What makes me believe that? Because All changes with every moment that passes. My goals and family’s needs today will not be the same in 6 months or a year. They may be similar, but they’ll evolve and grow and change. I think you can have it all for a fleeting moment, but no longer than that. When you achieve goals or check something off of the “always wanted to do” list, there’s always a new goal… a new dream… a new definition of what Having It All would include.

For as long as I could remember, I’ve had a list of what a perfect daily life aka It All would be for me. I’ve wanted to do work I love… and write books… and bake cookies… and travel with my family… and blog… and  grow a vegetable garden… and volunteer at my kid’s school in the middle of the afternoon for no other reason than it’s Tuesday. My list has evolved over the years and some things have fallen off and others have been added to, but that’s the general gist of what getting it all would be in my world.

I never believed that those things were possible because, really… who actually gets to do that? You work, you come home, you fit in the things you love to do around the things you have to do and you suck it the hell up because that’s what being a grownup is about.


And then, a few months ago, I started seeing these conversations all over my social network about “Living Your Truth” and “Escaping Mediocrity”  and “Finding Work You Love“. I started thinking that maybe I could start getting the life that I want instead of the life that I was expected to have. You could say I started drinking the kool aid!

I started reading books and blogs and news articles about sculpting your life into what you want it to be… and about taking back your own power. I started telling myself that I would not continue to be the barrier to my own success. I even started to believe all of that nonsense just a little bit more every day.

My AHA moment, and I know this will sound EXTRAORDINARILY HOKEY, was when Elizabeth posted something on twitter that resonated with me so deeply that I can’t even begin to tell you how it felt. She said “The best thing I ever did was stop asking people what they thought I should do.” I stopped in my tracks.

I DO that. I have amazing fabulous ideas… and I never trust myself enough to just run with it. I always ask. I always alter my vision to suit what others see. I always second guess. And I always stop JUST short of following through.

And I’ve told you all of that to say this… This website is the beginning of me finally following my heart and GETTING IT ALL… and helping you, my friends, see that you can get it all too. I don’t know yet exactly what it will look like or sound like, but I couldn’t wait any longer to get started. The excuse monster was lurking.

I do know that I’ll be sharing interviews of other moms who are getting their own brand of “it all” and how they’re doing it and what their challenges are. I’ll be telling my own stories and sharing in yours as well. We’ll figure out the rest together.

So here goes.  I quit my day job.  My last day will be May 28th.  I’m building my own web design business and transitioning to a work from home mom and the president of the PTSA next year and I’m baking the damned cookies.  It’s not going to be easy, but I bet that it’ll be educational… for all of us.

I hope you’ll join me and keep me company and share your stories too.


*Edited and added a teeny bit on 5/20


  • Brooke Etier says:

    Sounds amazing! I am so happy for you. We still need to get together as soon as I can stay out of the dentist’s chair long enough to make it somewhere else.

    Here’s some food for thought or discussion as the case may be…
    She said “The best thing I ever did was stop asking people what they thought I should do.” I DO that. I have amazing fabulous ideas… and I never trust myself enough to just run with it. I always ask. I always second guess. And I always stop JUST short of following through.

    I have problems with follow-through. I don’t know that it is because I doubt myself or don’t trust myself or more that I feed off the energy and ideas of others. I work well within a team in most cases because I need someone to help me stay focused. I have lots of great ideas but one of my biggest challenges is that I need to follow-through with one idea before starting on the next. So now that I’ve realized, admitted, etc – this about myself, how do I find that person or group of people that will create something amazing as a team. OR – am I using this as an excuse and I really need to work on my ability to focus and stay on track on a personal level?

    Not sure if this kind of discussion is what you wanted or not but from the friends of yours that I have met it would be interesting to hear thoughts and ideas from others.

    • Ida says:

      Hi Brooke!
      This is EXACTLY the kind of discussion I was hoping for when I hit send on this post. I think that most of us have the follow-through problem. For whatever reason.

      As for following through with one idea at a time, I hear ya! I talk a lot about feeling like a dog in the park. Someone throws a frisbee and I’m all “OOOH Frisbee”… and run after it, then skid to a halt because there’s something shiny out of the corner of my eye, so I go chase that… then some kid calls my name from the other side… so I skid to a halt and go chase that. So here I am, no frisbee, no shiny thing, no kid to play with. Just a lot of things that are started and never finished.

      Most of my barriers are self imposed, and I’m sure yours are too. We can come up with a million things that keep us from moving forward. Someone I read a lot, who I won’t link to again, lest she think I’m a stalker ;), says that she’s got a policy of doing something in her life/business that makes her uncomfortable every single day. That makes so much sense to me. If I’m pushing past my comfort zone, I’m doing something I haven’t done before and getting outside my self imposed limits. We should totally try that.

      And don’t worry… I’ll be on your team! We don’t do the same work, but that’s ok. Support systems are made of people who fill in the gaps of other people’s weaknesses with their strengths, and allow others to do the same for them.

  • The Maggie says:

    Hey, I am SO in awe of your bravery. You rock so hard goats are flying everywhere! I have another friend who blows me away with her bravery at going after what she wants. she is at http://michellepaints.wordpress.com/ and u would probably inspire each other, each being so awesome :).

    i wish i could tell you how many ideas i have had that i then being sold/marketed by other people because i never did anything with them….and i mean YEARS before they are sold by other people…and i always think “why the heck don’t i actually DO something with these ideas?!” i say it is the aries in me but really i have no excuse. thank you for being awesome and all inspirational and stuff!

    • Ida says:

      *HUGS* sweet Maggie!

      I’m not brave, my dear. I’m petrified and uncertain! But I’m jumping off that ledge anyway. I have the only thing I truly need to make amazing things happen… a support system of friends like you and my family.

      Thank you SO much for linking Michelle in your comment. I remember when you emailed me to tell me about Rufus and Lucy going across the country a few years ago and my kids were the first ones to get them! (Then the kids’ stepmom never actually mailed Rufus and Lucy to the next destination, so they were MIA until I picked them up from summer break and sent them back to Michelle… ugh… good times). I still have a picture on my dresser of the kids and Mark and Rufus and Lucy in the Hampton Inn pool. 🙂

      The next time you have an amazing idea… do something with it. Just one. If you need help, you let me know and I’ll help. I want to see Brave Successful Maggie!

  • Kimberly says:

    I just wanted to congratulate you for following your dreams. Taking the first step always seems to be the hardest, but you’ve done it and I’m so very proud of you.

    Your article is truly inspiring. It’s a refreshing reminder that it’s okay to take a leap of faith and just go for it.

    I look forward to reading and watching your new journey as it unfolds.

  • Sally G says:

    How inspiring!! Right up to, and including, quitting your job because your belief in Self – on some level – is THAT strong. Ida — I’m in awe!

    Perhaps once you were someone who would stop just short of following through … but I don’t see that person here right now. I see a woman who is completely open to the opportunities the Universe will present to her – because she’s found the Courage, Hope and Faith to clear the space for their arrival.

    I couldn’t be more impressed …

  • Amanda T. says:

    “You rock so hard goats are flying everywhere!”
    I…I……………I think I snorted a chex out my nose laughing when I read that.

    That is all. Or rather, here, at this moment? Laughter IS having it all.

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